The End of Amusement Parks: No Screaming Allowed

***WARNING*** The views expressed within may be offensive to some. This is a rant, so if you get offended easily, well, then don’t read this! ******

The End of Amusement Parks: No Screaming Allowed

Seriously? Yes. It is sad but true. A trend I saw starting back in 2000, at an amusement park in Kentucky, where I was asked to put a shirt on over my naked torso. Walking around shirtless in July in 100*F  heat is something I have ALWAYS done, even at at carnivals and, GASP, amusement parks.

After some several sarcastic and incredulous questions, I disapprovingly shook my head, putting on my tank top T-shirt. Apparently, that was also unacceptable. “So, wait”, I commanded, “I can pay my money in this shirt, ENTER the park in this shirt, walk around for several early morning hours in this shirt,” My voice getting louder and louder until I was shouting loud enough so that anyone that could see me could hear me, “but now that I’ve taken the shirt off, I can’t put it back on?!?!?”

“I’m sorry sir”, began some lame excuse, but I wasn’t listening.

484461“What now”, my tirade continued, “Does everyone need to wear a tux shirt and shoes to get in? Why not raise the admission fee to $100 (back then it was $35), ban all park goers from bringing in their own food and drinks, hell, why not charge $10 a drink?? (then it was a ridiculous $2) “WHY NOT BAN SMILING, LAUGHING, AND SCREAMING WHILE YOU’RE AT IT” Now at a full blast scream, my face lobster red, steam pouring out of my ears (like Yosemite Sam).

“Please Sir, calm yourself or we will have to ask you to leave” was the calm response of the rent-a-guard. Well, that set me off again, and I went into a full tirade and filibuster mode, (saying every nonsensical and ridiculous thing that came to mind that might become a rule under this insanity.

“Why not charge for breathing air, for getting wet on the rides, hell, why not charge for the wind blowing in my face?”

Huh. That was June 2000.  Not so ridiculous now, is it?

Since that day, the ‘amusement park’ (lets not kid ourselves here, how many amusement parks are there? I’m talking about the organization with parks under 6 different state flags) has outlawed  not only T-shirts (talking about the shirts with the spaghetti straps over the shoulders, much like a wife beater T) but flip flops, and now screaming. Seriously? Screaming?

I can only imagine The big park in Orlando Florida will soon follow suit. They just raised their rates to OVER $100/day for admission alone !!  (Does that include a visit with the gators?) Now I understand more people are making more money than ever imaginable. (Honestly, I never thought I would know a Trillionaire in my lifetime, though Warren Buffet is clearly well on his way, with something like 800 Billion dollars to his name. (ok, his company). But not all of us are millionaires. IN FACT, the middle class is being decimated all together, slipping and slowly being squeezed into the lower class.

Seriously, 50K a year is barely considered middler class. Several of us Americans are still reeling from the Great Depression, unemployed and unable to get financial assistance from the government. Yet if you are Black  (with no sense to take birth control, or the gumption to get an education or a job), Hispanic, Pakistani, Saudi, or Islamic, (to name but a few) you are ushered in, given free housing, food stamps and something like $2500 per month in ‘spending money’ (or whatever they call it that allows these folks on food stamps to purchase a New iPhone every year, and drive in a nice new big fat gasoline guzzling SUV).

What is that? An entitlement? Yet I was Born in America, RAISED in America, and have worked in America my whole life, and I get the ‘privilege’ of … what? Zilch. Zip. Nada. Oh wait, I get the privilege of supporting all these free loading foreigners in their designer clothes while I can barely afford a pair of -mart jeans. On clearance.

But, I must digress. This is about amusement parks. The ones that get huge tax breaks for providing a 150 or so (part-time) jobs to teenagers during the summer months. The ones that build their parks smack dab in the center of a community neighborhood. And then tell us to ‘Hush Ya’ll”.

Real Amusing.

IMG_5256I think not. Instead, I’ll just quit going to your parks, head back to the ‘-mart’, and purchase one of those 12′ round by 2′ deep swimming pools that cost about the same as a single admission to one of those parks. I’ll be sitting chest deep in water, with a cold adult beverage (or 4) while you stand in line for just One ride on that roller coaster.

Unless of course you receive entitlements (from my sweat off my back)) and have money to burn. Then you could afford the additional $150 to ‘skip the lines’, instead of waiting for them to ban laughing, smiling and fun.

Absolutetely ABSURD.


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